Monday, March 24, 2014

Why Barbie is a Horrible Roommate

You might think that Barbie would be a pretty cool roommate. She doesn't eat anything, and she doesn't take up a lot of space. All of her belongings are crammed into one box in the living room.
Well, let me tell you that she is a horrible roommate.
  1. She leaves her clothes and shoes scattered everywhere. After you step on a Barbie shoe a few thousand times, it kind of starts to piss you off. I finally got fed up one day and told her, "If you don't start picking up your shoes, I'm going to start throwing them out." Do you think she listened? Hell no! Do you think I felt guilty when one of her shoes got sucked up in the vacuum? HELL NO!!
  2. She doesn't pay anything for rent or utilities. If she can afford a Corvette and a Dream House, you'd think she could kick in a little money for taking up space in my living room.
  3. She has her boyfriend, Ken, over all the time. I swear he never leaves.
  4. The other day, I caught her and Ken in a compromising position -- right in the middle of my living room!!
Check out the tattoo on her thigh.

As Devlin Warren once said, only a trollop would allow a man to kiss her before they are formally engaged. I think she's a downright whore.

They were still at it the next morning. Ken was getting a little boob action.
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